Primary Secondary

2 weeks of buzzing
been working in office and at night and on weekends for the past 2 weeks
and finally.. the end of the 2nd week
packed weekend again
and some more work to be done over the weekend

coming week is full of work events as well

haha.. exciting exposure i must admit
not really what i set out to be..
though it's kinda fun in some ways

a graphics designer
a liaison officer
an emcee for events
and now sorta..
a venture into marketing area

haha..
ok la..
honestly
it does drain me as much as i learn
for in these areas
i very much start from scratch
i see things in ways i normally dun
i see and talk to people i normally dun
and i do things i dun noe that i can do

interesting
life's like riding an unicycle, juggling balls
and balancing plates at the same time
while on the thin rope line in mid air
and trying to go for the trampoline next

haha..
my capacity will be increased with all these
and then
wat's next?

time for bed

It's a Draw

First MC for the fy
didn't sleep well for the past weekend
rushing the drawing
which i hope will sorta meet big boss expectations
and also be the way i like it to be

not that he seems impressed now
but i hand drew most of the pictures with powerpoint
and yeah..
an accomplishment for me no matter how it turns out

idealistic
maybe..
i like ppl to like the things i like
especially if i made them
things like drawing and cards

it has got to have a spirit
a sense of living in it
and to me
tat's how i see things

-----------------

Been seriously contemplating where to go from here on
feels as if i'm stuck in this production line
this factory
working to check in and check out time
and products to earn money

working to live
working to satisfy monetary rewards

but wat goes from here on
do i want be the same as the norm

study hard
-> go into good company
-> work hard and aim for promotion
-> rise above the ranks

call me unrealistic
i can't picture myself yet
doing things i can do well
but which i have limited interest in
many years down the road
will i be blindly trying to better myself
so that i can be "better"?

What's the point of all these?
What's the point?

Ah Jaa ah Jaa!

Tired.

a hectic week
rushing for the first cut of my solo analysis due next week
and just got another assignment to complete by monday morning
which tests my ability to consolidate and draw
and the target is to surprise.

hm
all at one go
honestly
these are times that threaten to break me now and then
challenging yes,
straining yes too

venturing into the marshes where it feels so foreign
i'm not wearing my boots..
furthermore time's not on my hands
with the weekends packed till night

i need some encouragement man
yeah.. oh and time management. haa
pull me along if u see me fall
or at least dun trample more

i will make it!

ah jaa ah jaa!

Definition

What defines ___ for you

I keep thinking abt what ifs
and my adventurous self just wanna go outside and see the world
yet..
there's this side of me that binds it hard to the nomenclature world

and there's enough lax for me to think
and hu si luan xiang quite a bit.

if this path is chosen for a reason
where do i go from here on
straight ahead and bash through
or jump out of all this

I want my colours back!

Crashed the server today by using up all the memory
and so called discovered its inherent fault..
that it has a fixed capacity..

however, this caused boss and sys admin to stay back w me till 7 plus to fix it..
not really my fault but feel so guilty and worthless..
in the sense tat i can't accomplish wat i set out to do
and also solve the problem tat cropped up..

where are u TL
hath u grown so accustomed to living in the shadows
that u forgot who u really are..
used to just living day by day..

no.. wake up TL
wake up!
I dun wan to sink into tat comfort zone
this is not the me i want to see..

-----------
also missed dinner w the cat and foie gras
thanks for waiting for me!
though we didn't manage to meet up.. soon!

on the happy side,
met up w pongy, jie, ah ma and the lab ppl for lunch today
really glad to eat lunch w them n laugh the lunch away..
at least i'm not just trying to get lunch over..
and the time passes so fast lunching w them..
thanks guys for being ard!

-------------

so so looking forward to everyday's dose of 梦幻情侣 at 10pm
and time flies watching it.. show's ending in just 4 days
laughter n tears n parodies..
n it moves through the tiny dashes of heart warming moments
and unexpected puns and witty comments..
ar.. i'm not having enough of it..


--------------

so fragmented my tots are
haha

Monday Updates

Here's my rare update on monday..
had my first showcase of work to my boss today..
didn't fare too well..
guess i try too hard,
my original plain one was wat he was looking out for..
n i tot i wanted to do something impressive..
in the end, it was too heavy to swallow i guess..

needa wake up my idea.. wake up TL!
observe and not stone at work
shake the blues away.. boo..

on the other hand,
sat n sun flew so fast as usual..
can nvr get enough of the weekends..
n sometimes i can't seem to go back to the rustic feel..
of waking up to the sun and sleeping to the moon..

taking convo pics w cousins n siblings were fun on sat..
and nan de we all got tgt like cny.. haha

sunday was the usual or unusual high meetup w IS2 ppl
and then the sorta impromptu crazy session..
always leave me in dregs on monday..
as the monday blue hits me the lowest..

oh well..
tmrw will be a better day!
rest well n be ready to go go go!

*crosses fingers*

oh..
welcome back pongy, jj n melvin!
bon voyage to melvin rsphi and shaun in advance!
take care in the land of meatballs n ikea! :)

Roller Coaster Ride

First night online since work started

this one week feels like a super compressed drama
with mood swings going like the roller coaster ride
ups and downs
and yet not too far off that the feelings fall off the ride

starting with the first day
nobody realised i was there
staring at the cubicle, doodling on my notepad for hours
waiting for time to pass and the boss to come..
sliding around the office like i was invisible
and the walls of the cubicle just seem to separate ppl
silence and more silence.. ppl ard just feels so quiet
nearly eating lunch alone (luckily got jie, jj they all ard)
found out that the internet switch on my computer was touch based
(thanks to pongy)
feeling like a lost boy trying to enter the office
cos my access card couldn't

end of first day - low . headache . bored . lonely . neglected

second day was poles apart
starting with two project managers briefing me in the morning
the wow part came from me being able to choose which project i wan to join
and which team i wan to go..
and the dilemma comes along as well
nvr met so many new faces, knew so many new names
and heard abt so many info
and spoke to so many ppl in one day
but the choice remains occluded and blurred
even though the mind was made up by the end of the day
at least the goal is clear
and no more whiling time away staring at the wall
(thanks to jie n jj for the advice again :) )
oh.. lunch was a choice between two groups of lunch ppl from my dept
vastly different from my first day..
I'm visible now! and i noe lotsa ppl!

end of 2nd day - happy . decided . sociable

third day was finalising my team and
reading and more reading..
my superiors going to change because i chose the different project..
didn't expect that by this 3rd day, my team and project has changed.. haa
lunch with the cubicle ppl.. second lunch with them..
didn't speak much.. but they're nice ppl.. :)
starting to like my place. it's so big compared to the other offices
and i'm free to go where i like and at my own time
the privacy just seems nice and the scenery is amazing from the seat
since the cubicle faces the southern ridges and surrounded by windows.
nice :)

end of 3rd day - settling down . happy

fourth day was web seminar day
skipped lunch to read up on the stuff before the web seminar
first time attending an one and half hour online conference
need to call in using telephone some more..
tiring and sorta drifts off after a while but it was eye opening
even though i didn't eat lunch, three of them came to jio me for lunch consecutively..
happy! starting from linda, jianwen to pauline.. nice nice.. :)
rendy even offered to pack lunch for me.. nice ppl!

end of fourth day - i like my place :)

fifth day was department's take a walk day in the afternoon at southern ridges
great walking with ch, linda, jianwen, kenny, ziyang, darren they all..
haha.. ji chi pang can be so leng sometimes
and ch pops out the most funny stuff w a straight face, fun ppl.. haha
mm.. going to miss them
cos it's confirmed that i'm moving to my new cubicle on monday
sitting with the new team,
wonder how's life going to be
but i noe.. the ppl gonna be different..
and work's gonna get heavier!

end of fifth day - ready for the change . missing the ppl already . time to meet new ppl

some one asked me abt the gan yan for this week..
mm well..
challenges came
and i pounced upon the chances..
not going to turn back and can't turn back too..
will go forward and more forward..

jiayou TL, jiayou jiayou!

take care all too!

Not such a good day

I'm perpetually trapped in the meeting room today..
not cos the locks are spoiled.. (no door anyway)
but cos i been attending meetings one after another..

i only remember sitting in front of the com for ard 2 hrs in the morning..
rushing my coding..
then the rest of my day are spent camping in the meeting room.. so nice hor..
with the amount of coding yet to be done, documentation barely complete..
now i hath to prepare presentation to present to my sup..

time time...

mm.. other than the lengthy meetings which tend to go off topic somehow by concerns here n there..
i'm most scared by the "support" i'm given recently,
when i ask whether this supposed to be done this way,
high chances i might get the reply tat wat do you think..
then when i say wat i think, i get not much comments or hehe..
(if u wan me to change, i can change loh) comments.. arr..
then when change le, say anything wrong will because of me..
so huh de!
then the coding tat need to be changed quite a bit.. how come it's like tat de..
pls.. if wat i'm doing or saying is wrong, pls just tell me k..
giving me guai face, haha-ing like i'm supposed to noe isn't helping..
cos i really dunno where i went wrong, tat's y i felt tat's the best ma..

aye.
doubts..
whether u all think is silly or wat, i will keep clearing them..
can't work with questions in my mind n when i dunno wat i'm doing..
-----------
lei le..